Make It or Break It

Some days I feel like school can't come fast enough. But moments where it seems to be coming to fast...

I have things that I want to just avoid.
I can't avoid that stuff though.
It will all just bit me in the butt later on.
I want to run. Want to hide.

Conversations that need to take place,
Conversations that scares the heck out of me.
I don't want to be made out to be the bad guy.
Or made out to be selfish.

Communication is one thing I'm working on.
Getting better at?
But I don't seem strong enough to always do it right.
Or at all.

Decisions to be made.
Again.
I don't want to be made out selfish.
I don't want to do it for the wrong reasons.

There are things right now that if the just worked themselves out without me,
I would be content.
But they aren't going to work themselves out.
I may just have to be the one to make the break through.
I may be the one to make things click.
Really???
The things may not be my problems.
But if I go in with a whole lot of Christ in me.
And a whole lot of knowing I can do it.
In the big picture.
I may help save it.

How and why does it seem I have to be the one to save this.
How am I strong enough?
Am I really strong enough, got it figured out enough?
Is this God's plan and purpose for my life right now.
Where will this lead me to?

All I want is God's plan/will for my life.
But I am such a stubborn selfish sinner,
Who is so scared to think what the people think.
I don't want to hurt anyone.
I would rather want to take the hurt upon myself, just stirve and be stretched until I am about to break
Before I hurt anyone else.

Selfish much?
Prideful much?
Stubborn enough?

So here is my surrender to God.

I want to be what I have to be.
I need to be filled with Christ.
I need to figure it out.
Find the words. 
Trust enough.
Be brave.
Live obediently.
Do what I have to do.
Strive forth.
Step out.
Be a strong.

All I want is things to be fixed.
And it seems to be that I am going to be the one to kick start it.
I can't fix the things of the people around me.
But I can/need to love them enough to be truthful.
To get the communication going.
No matter how much it scares me.

God's got me
Right?