Some more then others.
We all have little quarks about ourselves.
On that thought. How much of it are things that we do, or have or say in a way for us to "get caught."
You know how much of acting out do we do as a "how much can we get away with?" or a "if I do this and that, will so and so still love me?" or a "how much is to much before people start pushing me out of their life?"
I know that in some way I do this. I have done things that in honesty has been "a test" to see how much love I deserve. Or how much people really do mean it when they say they love me. Do they really mean it even if I do stupid, horrible things?
In the same aspect I think we all do this. I think we all do it or have done it with the people in our lives. But I think we all do it or have done it with God. I think we have all hit a point in our lives where we say "really God you love me even though I do this or that?" or "God you really love me even though I am this person?"
I think we all have doubt about ourselves. Doubt that we deserve love, from people, and from God.
I know I struggle with it a lot and often. I have a lot of self esteem issues. And they all lead to the same thing of I often feel I don't deserve to be loved. Because of things like the way I look, or the way I talk or say things, or the way I do things. I have often felt like if people can't love me, why should God.
I know, I know. The self esteem issue thing is Satan. I know its a lie when I hear in my head that I can't be loved by people or God.
But how often have we all gone through it. I don't know a single person who hasn't felt it at one point or another in their lives.
I'm not really sure where this post was suppose to go. So Ill stop there. May add on later.
I know that in some way I do this. I have done things that in honesty has been "a test" to see how much love I deserve. Or how much people really do mean it when they say they love me. Do they really mean it even if I do stupid, horrible things?
In the same aspect I think we all do this. I think we all do it or have done it with the people in our lives. But I think we all do it or have done it with God. I think we have all hit a point in our lives where we say "really God you love me even though I do this or that?" or "God you really love me even though I am this person?"
I think we all have doubt about ourselves. Doubt that we deserve love, from people, and from God.
I know I struggle with it a lot and often. I have a lot of self esteem issues. And they all lead to the same thing of I often feel I don't deserve to be loved. Because of things like the way I look, or the way I talk or say things, or the way I do things. I have often felt like if people can't love me, why should God.
I know, I know. The self esteem issue thing is Satan. I know its a lie when I hear in my head that I can't be loved by people or God.
But how often have we all gone through it. I don't know a single person who hasn't felt it at one point or another in their lives.
I'm not really sure where this post was suppose to go. So Ill stop there. May add on later.
1 comment:
"Thank God, a life of victory is sure for those who have a knowledge of their inward ruin and are hopeless in themselves, but who, in 'the confidence of despair', have looked to Jesus, and, in faith in His power to make the act of surrender possible for them, they have done it, in His might, and now rely on Him alone every day and every hour." Andrew Murray ~ The Prayer Life
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