Just sitting around outside in the heat listening to some music. In a sick way I love it. Its like I keep saying hot is way better then sub zero in mid January. So don't complain about it. Yes its hot, but these are the days we look forward to a good chunk of the year.


Anyway that's not why I sat down to write...
I sat down to "check in" so to speak.


My summer has been crazy. Great, eventful and fun. And its gone by fast.
Monday marked the one month mark till I leave for school. Yup we are now under the official time to get stuff done, packed, spend time with people, finish up with my last couple weeks of work, and just being ready.


I am super excited, but at the same time I getting nervous. Its a bitter sweet thing. Its the start of the rest of my life. But there are things that are nerve racking. And its a healthy form of nerves, so its all good. I'm not freaking out. Its going to be good. I'm going to miss people, but I'm going to meet new people. I guess my biggest fear is that I'll get there and its not going to be instantly I have a friend there. I have to work toward the relationships that I will have and find. Just like I did while I was building relationships here, and I don't want to sit around and sulk that I miss people here, and they still have each other . Cause even though I will miss them. I can't let anything hold me back from the new stuff and people that will come.


I have my days where I am sitting there thinking what have I gotten myself into? Those days of doubt of if I can even do this. And even if I can do this, how the heck will I pay for it. Will everything with my financial aid come through, will I figure out how to make it all work, etc. I haven't had may of those days, but they have happened.


Now that I am coming closer and closer to it all being real. I can say I'm scared, but scared with a mix of total excitement. I say its a healthy form of being scared. Cause it's going to be a whole new change in life. Something I have never done before, the first time for a lot of things. But there is excitement in that very fact of it may be there first time for things.


So hear is to me saying I have butterflies in my stomach that are turning and creating knots. But I have excitement cause its something I want for myself. I want to have a purpose and focus in my everyday. That purpose and focus is to work hard, study hard, and be the best student I can be. Creating friendships, being a good friend. Working on the next part of my life, which leads toward the rest of my life.


Its going to be a long and hard road. But its going to be an amazing great path to be on.