To maintain a healthy level of insanity
1.) Sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hair dryer at passing cars, to see if they slow down.
2.) Page yourself over the intercom. Don't disguise your voice.
3.)Every time someone asks you to do something, ask them if they want fries with that.
4.) Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has gotten over their caffeine addiction, switch back with espresso.
5.)In the memo field of all your checks write "for marijuana"
6.)With a serious face, order a diet water whenever you go out to eat.
7.)Specify that your drive through order is to go.
8.)When the money comes out of the ATM scream "I WON"
9.) When leaving the zoo start running toward the parking lot yelling "run for your lives, they're loose!!!"
10.)Tell your children over the dinner table that "due to the economy we are going to have to let one of you go."