About Me

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Life has it's highs and lows. Embrace it. Live It. Push through. Find the Joy, the Laughter, the Smiles. The little things are the things that bring the most joy. New Life Rises From The Ashes. ~ <3 ~

Thursday, March 19, 2009

Jesus Works in Funny Ways!!!

So as I am in my Bible Daily, I am noticing I am having better days. I am in better moods, I'm not so blah about my days. My personal goal for getting in my Bible everyday was to grow more in my knowledge of Christ, and learn more about the Bible, because I have never really been good about being in the Word daily, until now. But this proves that my goals are simpler then Gods plan/will for my life. I am learning so much. I have been able to apply what I have noticed, and taken away from what I have read to my life. I am also striving for more of what I'm learning! I am wanting more and more for God to change my life like he has in a week since I have started to be in His word daily!!! I love it!!! I have never felt this way outside of youth group/church events!!! Its so exciting to me :)

Sunday, March 15, 2009

Craziness of life

My life has become very very crazy. I feel so twisted and pulled. I do so much that I don't have time to settle down, think, let God work through me. I work so much, because I have the mind set of I need the money cause of Poland. And I don't allow myself to have time to do my homework, which I Really need to get done, and I cant put it off, I will just cause myself more problems if I do that.
Plus today, at church they talked about serving, which I do...practically every week. I'm getting worn out. And I know that is no excuse to stop serving, which its not that I want to STOP, I just need a break. Which the other day I email Dan K, and Angie, who does the tech team schedule, and just asked for a month off. I love serving, I love helping, I just get stressed and worn out, especially since I am one of the people on the team that is willing to say yes to week after week of serving. But yeah. So as Pastor Guy was talking I started to feel guilty about asking for time off. Then at youth group, we talked about taking time for God, stepping back from everything in our lives, and letting God speak to us. Which then made me feel like well what am I suppose to do, take the break that I asked for and seem that I really need, even though the tech team is the last thing causing me to be stressed and busy. Or do I keep serving, because it is what us Christ followers are suppose to be doing.
Then as I was thinking, Jackie asked me on Friday to watch kids for a meeting on Monday night, I said yeah I can do that. But in my head I thought I really shouldn't. I have way to much to do, and no time to do it. BUT to late now. But I just can't say no to things like people asking me to serve or watch kids. It is just a part of who I am. I hate making people be in a bind for finding someone else.
I just need to figure out what I can step back from. But I just don't know!!! Plus I seem to just be adding more and more on to my plate as I try to figure out what to step away from.

On a side note, from my last post, I have been ding a great job of getting into my Bible everyday, and getting in my Jesus time :)

Wednesday, March 11, 2009

Better Then Myself

I know I'm not a great person. I know I'm not perfect... no one is. But i have been learning more about myself. More of the fact that I am not living the Christian life I should be. I try, but I fail everyday. My prayer life is not as strong as it should be. I don't get in God's Word everyday, I honestly can't remember when I last did (by myself that is.) At the end of the day, its the last thing on my mind. Life gets my attention before my Creator, and that makes me very sad to admit.
Well since Sunday I have realized that life is starting to really get to me. I am overwhelmed with school, work, church even. I serve so much at church that worship has become a blur to me. I can't properly worship my God. At youth group, I stand there feeling weird, I can't get into the music. I feel like I don't know how to worship anymore. But I know there is no one way to worship. Or even a proper way to worship.
I just need to get better at my Bible reading, and my prayer time with Jesus. I know once that happens things will change for the better. And I want them to. I need them to.

Please keep me in your prayers. I need my life to be God centered, not Beth centered. I can't have control of my life. I will screw it up WAYYYY to much.


Monday, March 9, 2009

I think I have become immune to crying and really feeling God working in me at retreats, or weekend get away things for church. I don't know if it is because I would always end up crying at everything in middle school and beginning of high school. Or what. But I came out of this weekend felling like nothing impacted my life. I mean there were a few things I could relate to from the speaker, but nothing life changing. In fact I came home Sunday feeling really weird. Kinda empty. But its not like I have doubted God or strayed from God. If anything my knowledge, and stuff of HIM is better then ever. I don't know if it was Satan trying to attack me, or if I truly didn't get anything out of the weekend. I had a blast. But there were so many ladies who broke down, because God has impacted them in some way.
I learned new things , that I plan to take in effect in my life, but yeah.

I don't know. Its just something that I noticed.