About Me

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Life has it's highs and lows. Embrace it. Live It. Push through. Find the Joy, the Laughter, the Smiles. The little things are the things that bring the most joy. New Life Rises From The Ashes. ~ <3 ~

Thursday, December 4, 2008

Phone mix up

So today I was talking to Donnie on the phone, and he was calling about concessions for the 33 Mile concert. I thought he said confession!!!
I felt soooo stupid, it was funny!!!
I was like confession??? WHAT??? why in the world would we do confession for a concert at our church. Then it clicked that he said concession. I was like OOOO CONCESSION, not confession!!!!
AHAHA it was funny.

Thursday, November 27, 2008


You know it is very hard to be thankful for something when you are in soooo much pain.
Don't get me wrong, I am very thankful for things, like my parents and my brothers, and friends, mostly every blessing that has ever happened and will happen. But my skin has really been bothering me lately, especially today. Thanksgiving is a day to celebrate with others about what you are thankful for. But it was just hard for me, spent a good amount of time sleeping in the morning, because I didn't want to get up and deal with my skin. And when I did get up I took a bleach bath (Dr. told me to take them to help clean out my pours) then I showered to get the bleach water stuff of of me. In hopes that I would feel much better afterward. Well, most of my body felt better, but my face HURT like no other. It was really red, tight, and felt like it was on fire. NO FUN!!! So once we sat down to eat, I was still miserable. I have been miserable all day. I don't like spending my days like this... Especially holidays!!!!

So if you could just say a prayer for me, that my skin can get better!!!


Saturday, November 15, 2008

By Your Side (Tenth Avenue North Song)

Why are you striving these days
Why are you trying to earn grace
Why are you crying
Let me lift up your face
Just don't turn away

Why are you looking for love
Why are you still searching as if I'm not enough
To where will you go child
Tell me where will you run
To where will you run

And I'll be by your side
Wherever you fall
In the dead of night
Whenever you call
And please don't fight
These hands that are holding you
My hands are holding you

Look at these hands and my side
They swallowed the grave on that night
When I drank the world's sin
So I could carry you in
And give you life
I want to give you life

(Chorus 2x)

Cause I, I love you
I want you to know
That I, I love you
I'll never let you go


So I have fallen in LOVE with this song.
It really shows me God's Love for me.
He will love me, and be there for me through anything and everything.
No matter how much I mess up, he will be there for me.
He never will leave me, and never stop caring and loving me.
No matter how rich or poor I am, He doesn't care.
All we need is HIM.

This life on earth are numbered. He Died for us to have innumerable days with HIM.

Christ loves me, and you.
This song really hits me hard to know that I can't screw up big enough for Jesus not to love me!!! He will always be with me, and always be there for me.


Wednesday, November 5, 2008

Why Don't Some People Not Want To Vote???

It really irritates me that I know so many people who didn't want to vote.
I don't get why. Its a important thing to do. People fought for our right to vote. As American citizens it is our duty to step up and use our voices, make choices for ourselves. This country is set up on the people. We wouldn't be where we are today with out the peoples views, the peoples say. So why in the world would you NOT want to be part of that. Everyones Vote counts, everyone has a say in what happens.

As Christians we are even more obligated to vote. It is a moral reason, just because God as the final say in it all, and he knows what is going to happen. But its the biggest mistake Christians have made. Gos has allowed us to have the freedom to vote, so why wouldn't we want to.

Saturday, November 1, 2008

My Future

My future is closer then I think it is!!! I'm a Senior, I know what I want to do with my future, but I'm afraid I wont succeed at it. Photography is my passion, and have dreamed about it as far as I can remember!!! But then I think about it and get scared that I'm not good enough for it. so there is that fear of where I'm going to go, how well am i going to do, etc. and then there's the whole boy situation...yes I know I should worry about this right now, but I want to be married someday, I want to have kids. I want to be a good wife, a good mom. I want to feel like I'm wanted, important, while doing what I love. I want to be happy, I want to succeed, I want to have the life I have always dreamed about. Being a photographer, a wife, a mom, a good sister, a good daughter, a good follower of Christ, a faithful, trusting person, a good friend. Right now is a very critical time... I need to figure out what I'm going to do for school. I want to find or meet the possible Mr right in the next few years... I don't mean right now or this year or even next...but not ten years from now. I know its all in Gods hands, but I just wish I knew, I want to feel comfortable with moving on in my life, and comfortable with what I'm going to do after I graduate. I want to live a life of purpose, and of excellence. I need Gods wisdom of what to do.

Wednesday, October 29, 2008

A Touchy Subject Tested.

Once again I have had my buttons pushed with sex outside of marriage. Again it is dealing with someone close to me.
I just don't get it. Well I do, its called temptation and hard to say no to it.
Well The past two weeks I have been bottling up the feeling of whats going on, cause I don't want to be a jerk to the person. But when bottled up feelings become to much... theres a big explosion. And stupid me forgot about that little detail. SO as I talk to this person, (after 2 weeks of knowing) my feelings start to arise :/ BAD THING!!! I flipped out. Then I got into my stupid stage of once I flip I don't say anything else.
Its just the fact that I'm so sensitive to the subject and I have to deal with the fact that its going on in peoples live that I care about. Its a sad realization, but I don't understand what the point is of having sex outside of marriage is. Maybe God has just blessed me with the wisdom of knowing the special significants of waiting till marriage.
I just need to stay patient, and sensitive in whats going on in lives around me.

Just more rambles again :)

Thursday, October 23, 2008

Beanie Weenies!!!!!!!!!!!

Hahaha I love the Skit Guys.
Even though this is funny, and doesn't go with the rest of my blog, Just thought I would put this on here for fun.

Sunday, October 19, 2008

Wisdom and Word Needed

I am blogging to ask for prayer and personally pray that I can have the wisdom and the words that I need to really talk to Jessie about Jesus, and what it means to be a Christian. I slightly had a talk about it tonight, but mostly what it was that I said something about how I really liked Jesus and how he is a good guy, and she should really find him. She said she can find him, but not be a Christian. With that said, I really felt God pull at my heart and I know that I am meant to bring her to Christ. I mean like I have posted before, just asking her to come to church was a step out of my comfort zone. So that was God working through me. And I really have a feeling that she will find the truth, and I just hope that I will be part of her story someday. But I know God is working through me, and I want to be used. I have never been a reason someone has come to Christ (not that I know of anyway.) I love Jessie and there is nothing more that I want for her, then to become a follower of Jesus Christ.
I want to get her a Bible, a cool fun Bible, that I could give to her and use to help me start that conversation. Plus she said she didn't have a bible and I was like you want one? She said sure, so I really think it would help and be a cool thing to get her. Another reason I feel like I am being pulled to do this is cause she likes coming to youth group with me. She says she has fun, and that makes me really happy. So I just ask that you pray for me to be that light to her.


Sunday, October 12, 2008

Life Storms

So I'm in the middle of one...
Its a weird one too.
I'm so frustrated, stressed, overwhelmed, and just down. But then I know that God has a complete understanding and control of why everything thats going on is happening. He knows whats beyond this, he knows everything, and I have complete understanding of that. But I just can't seem to know what to do, I need to hear God tell me what I need to do to get everything straight, under control. I feel helpless, like theres nothing no one can do. I feel like I can't do anything to help myself.

I know God will never let me go, never leave my side through this. I know FULL well he is in control. As my favorite verse Says: I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. (Psalm 139:14)

Please if you read this and any of my other posts, please just pray for me.


Tuesday, September 30, 2008

Sad Thing to Realize

So Ive come to the knowledge of the fact the you cant be a teen girl who babysits and take the kid(s) out in public.
Why you ask...
Well the fact is that sadly our generation (well a lot of it) just flat out don't know how to say no.
SOOO being a teen girl with a small child (either way, if its your kid or you just watching the kid) you get dirty looks from people. And girls like myself watch kids, take kids to the park and stuff.
I have been to the park been out to a store with Dash and Sammie. I have had so many nasty looks at me, because I'm a teenage girl with a kid... THEY AREN'T EVEN MINE!!!!!
I mean I know the fact that yes girls my age screw up, get prego, and stuff. But you know what... some people need to lay off judgment when they see a girl with a kid. Who are they to even judge??? I know I should just shake it off and realize that I know the truth, and it not peoples job to judge me, but its just hard sometimes.
I love kids, I LOVE DASH AND SAMMIE. I'm not going to stop loving them or being around them and stuff because people are dumb sometimes, but sometimes I just get irritated at the looks I get.
Its hard being a girl who has never had sex, let alone kissed a guy. To get those looks and judgment. All because other girls my "age" is screwing up.

I Don't know, something to think about I guess.
Comment if you want


Thursday, September 25, 2008


I got really really into my Bible reading last night. Started reading Luke, dont know why I havent read it before, so thats where I ended up reading from. I got super into it that I was up till like 130 or so (granted I started at 1130 or so.)
But just reading it, it amazed me. One thing that we have all heard before, but really hit me in my reading was, no matter how many times people saw Christ cure the sick, blind, demon possessed, even the raised the DEAD!!!! People kept asking who is this man that says he can do amazing things. We just kept doubting. And it also came to me that we are like that. God can bless us with so much, and do so much for us, but one bad thing happens in our life that we question God why. We doubt, we are men and women of little faith in those rough times. So why, why do we question God al the time, how many times does he have to prove to us that he is in power, he has everyhting under control, we dont need to worry and stress. God shouldnt have to prove himself to us, we should just know and believe, and trust. He is an Almighty God, who LOVES us so much that he sent his son to die for us... how is that even fair??? Jesus isn't about fair, hes about loving us and protecting us. We are his children.
So it it my goal, for whenever I want to say "Why" I want to say "Thanks for being in control." Will you do the same??? Its my prayer for everyone and myself to come to the complete understanding that we dont need to ask why, we just need to trust.

Here are some verses that cought my attention:

Luke 1 : 37
Luke 1 : 46-51
Luke 1 : 68-79
Luke 3 : 9
Luke 4 : 8
Luke 4 : 12
Luke 5 : 31-32
Luke 6 : 9
Luke 6 : 27-38
Luke 6 : 45
Luke 7 : 11-15
Luke 9 : 23 & 25
Luke 9 : 44-45
Luke 9 : 50
Luke 10 : 16-20
Luke 11 : 23

Tuesday, September 23, 2008

Hearing God

This past week God has really been getting my attention. Between talks at church/youth group, music, even on the show wife swap (lol.) Ive not really taken the time to put in my Jesus time.
With getting ready to go to school, and all that sress. My dad looking for a job. As I want to be a photographer, sometimes I wonder if I really am cut out to be one.
Ive just really been relizing that I need to keep calm, God is in control and though we seem to feel like we are at the end of the road, but God knows what will happen, and he will bring good out of all the bad. He doesnt give us stress, we bring it upon ourselves by not trusting God.
He has also been showing me how AMAZING he is. He shows us in so many incredible ways. He brings comfert to those hurting, he brings healing to the pain, etc.
I Just though I would share. sorry its a little confusing and weird.

Powerful Video (Made Me Cry)

Monday, September 22, 2008

Taking a Chance

I am one who is afraid of rejection, fearful of what people think of me. Yeah I know that I shouldnt worry about what others think, but Im a highschool girl. So as I have a friend who Im 95% sure that shes not a christian, doesnt go to church, etc. I really like her, and we are good friends, and becoming even better friends.
As Planet Wisdom is coming up I thought maybe I should invite her to come along. But since she doesnt go to church or anyhting I was a little worried to ask. But I felt like I should. So I asked her to go to youth group. Which took a lot to do, since I dont want her to not be my friend because I go to church and cause Im a christian. But she said she would go and I was sooo excited. She said she had fun, and I asked her to come to overtime next week sujnday, and I asked to go to Planet Wisdom, and Im pretty sure she is thinking about it. So Im happy I took that chance.

In this Ive learned that I just have to take the chance... Christ died for me...thats the greatest chance/risk ever. So why do I get so nervous as to what people are going to think of me when invite them to church or a church event. Its who I am... Im a Christian, and proud of it. I shouldnt be afraid of being myself. Plus as christians we are asked to spread the love of Christ.

Saturday, June 21, 2008

Teens and Sex

So I was at a friends party, I was the oldest one there. Im 17, so these other girls were 13,14,15, you get it. It was for one of my younger friends obviously!!!! Anyway... they all were talking about how they have boyriends, and how they all have sex with every guy they ever date! there not even in high school!!!!! They are screwing up there lifes in soooooo many ways. Well as Im one who hasnt even had a boyfriend, or have had my first kiss, and Im 17 going to be 18 in Jan. I had nothing to say. I just sat there listening to them. Thinking, "What the heck??? How in the world can girls not even old enough to understand relationships, and arnt even mature enough for them, and even more???" Im not even old enough to know everything about relationships, and I know how stupid they are being. So what does that say??? Am I not mature enough, or am I more mature then most teens??? Do I just not understand why, or am I just using reasoning of my morals??? Im I being the stupid/dumb boring one, or the one use is trying to be smart and finding other ways to have fun??? teens today are in very hard positions to live. We have a whole lot of decicions to make, a whole lot of right and wrong that we need to deal with. Yes we are stupid in ways, some more then others.
Whats right, and as a chirstian, Im waiting, Im saving myself for when Im married, and I can actually enjoy sex. Sure i may come off as no fun, or being a loser and so on, but maybe I can make a differance in some way.

Just some totally random thoughts.
comment if you want.

Wednesday, April 2, 2008


Ok so this week I have been thinking a lot about dating and relationships. Mostly because of some middle school girls who are sooo concerned about having a boyfriend. I just just get amazed at how its their main concern in life. I'm not saying that I wasn't that way, and I'm not saying they will always be this way. But really its the lamest most ridiculous thing to be all worried about!!!! I in the past few years have grown up, guys are dorks!!! They really even are not worth the time and day to stress over. Get through high school, get through collage, have fun with FRIENDS in those years. You don't get them back.
Another thing I have seen is girls who obsess over guys don't respect themselves. So if your wanting to be in a relationship, but you can't even respect yourself, how is a guy dating you suppose to respect you. That is setting yourself up for trouble and hurt.
Be absolutely ready. Don't make dating a game. Its a search for who you want to spend your life with, a search to know what kind of qualities in a guy. Don't let the guy you date pull you down in your morals. He has to be someone who can build you up, not tear you down. A good relationship is Christ based. A true, strong, happy, hopeful relationship will be focused on how you two are glorifying God.
Be wise, know what you are setting yourself up for, and alway trust the Lord in everything. He has your future planned out.

Just a few thoughts...kinda probably scattered, but I hope you followed.
Comment if you wish

Thursday, March 20, 2008

Sweetly Broken

Jeremy Riddle - Sweetly Broken
From the album Sweetly Broken

To the cross I look, to the cross I cling
Of its suffering I do drink
Of its work I do sing

For on it my Savior both bruised and crushed
Showed that God is love
And God is just

At the cross You beckon me
You draw me gently to my knees, and I am
Lost for words, so lost in love,
I’m sweetly broken, wholly surrendered

What a priceless gift, undeserved life
Have I been given
Through Christ crucified

You’ve called me out of death
You’ve called me into life
And I was under Your wrath
Now through the cross I’m reconciled


In awe of the cross I must confess
How wondrous Your redeeming love and
How great is Your faithfulness


It honestly makes me cry, because its such a beautiful, amazing song. It is also an amazng truth, of how my God died for me, how our God loves me so much that he was willing to save me from death. To think that my strong beautiful God became weak and suffured for me. I find myself crying out to HIm, because I am not worthy of His love, but I will gracously accept it, and be truly thankful for it. I will confess to Him that Im a screw up, and ask HIm for forgivness, because I know that He will accept me and love me, because He has already shown His AMAZING love for me. HE DIED FOR ME!!!!!

One of the GREATEST analogies I have ever heard is...

As kids we play in mud and get dirty, and probably end up getting hurt. All we want is for our parents to snuggle us and comfert us. But we are all messy and dirty and gross.

Well as christians, we are dirty and messy and gross. but God loves us sooo much that he doesnt care how messy and dirty we are. He will have open arms for us to run into, so he can hold us and comfert us.

Im so thankful that I will always be loved, no matter what I do or screw up on. God will never leave me.

My Faith, Love Of Jesus

My faith is true, I love Jesus and trust Him with my everything. I am constintly learning more and more about Christianity, Faith, Jesus, Life, Love, Relationships, Etc. It is really starting to become more and more one of my biggest passions in life, to learn as much as I can, to get a handle on knowing as much as I can about my Faith. Just in the past year I have learned soo much more then I have ever known. Granted I may not be "Bible Smart" where I know a million and one verses, and know every story in the Bible. But Im more of a "What I Hear, What Im Taught, and What Im Told Smart" Sure I love learning new things out of the Bible because it is the truth, and what christianity is based on. But I love learning lessons and everyday experiences, and how to handle them as Im a christian. Theres no right way to be a christian. We all mess up, but our God, sent his son to DIE for us, so that our screw ups are able to be cleaned up and forgiven. Life is to hard to hard to hanle ourselves, and there may be times we think we got it under control and we dont need any help, but then a big life storm happens, and we get lost and confused. Something that I have experienced and know how sucky it is to go through a very messy lonely time, and I wanted nothing to do with Jesus. But in some way He showed me that I am not able to handle it on my own, and Im not suppose to handle it on my own, it isnt my job to, He is there to help, he wants to help. Its one of the biggest life lessons I have ever learned. It is also the biggest knowledge I want all my friends, and everyone else to know. To know that they dont have to go through life alone.

Have a Great DAY!!!!
Happy almost Easter!!!!!!!!!

Wednesday, March 19, 2008

Plans for Summer 2008

So my plans for this summer are sitill kinda up in the air. Im not going to Poland again, which is kinda disappointing, because I had a blast last year. But it is also exciting, cause then its giving me an oppertunitie to experiance something new. I am planning on going to Myrtle Beach with Student Venture. So Im excited for that, and really hope that is what I should be dong, and God wants me to be doing this summer. I really havent felt what God really has planned for me this summer. LIke for Poland, I really think that is not what he has planned, I dont feel its where he wants me, and I had the chance to go to West Virgina with St. Lukes, but when I was going to say something to the youth director, I just couldnt bring it up, cause I felt God say nope thats not it either. So Ive been PRAYING and trying to listen to God and let him lead me to where and what Im going to be doing this summer. So I am feeling pretty excited and think this Myrtle Beach thing is what I am suppose to be doing. But I will be continueing to be praying and listening to God to tell me for sure or not. I trust HIM and want to please HIM in what I will be doing this summer.