About Me

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Life has it's highs and lows. Embrace it. Live It. Push through. Find the Joy, the Laughter, the Smiles. The little things are the things that bring the most joy. New Life Rises From The Ashes. ~ <3 ~

Saturday, October 26, 2013

So its been a while.....

  So I know its been a while since I have posted anything one here. I guess i just haven't felt like my words are worth reading, or my thoughts just haven't had enough impact on me to write them down... who knows.

  Who knows if even anyone will read this, or if anyone will just kind of "check it out" but not really take a personal interest in what I have to say.

  Anyway, as I sit around this evening, just working on some school stuff, and chillin', I'm listening to Superchick. Man has it been a while since I have listened to them! I forgot how much I love this band. I forgot how much impact they have had and still have on my life and how I feel.

  When I feel the dumpiest (not sure if thats a real word) or when I am feeling awesome, there is just something about their music that hits me, comforts me in a way. Yeah, there is a lot of music out there that has a certain amount of feeling or "comfort" to me, but this is different, and I'm not sure why that is.

  It's been an off couple of days for me... Sure I could go on about that, but I don't want to. I don't want to think about whats putting me down. I just want it to pass, and I know it will. That is just how it id for me. I have random moments, or stretches of not being myself, but the nice thing about it now is I know it passes, I know that it isn't a life altering thing that puts me in a rut for a long period of time. I just know that I have to keep going and push through, and I am right back to being me. The me that I like, and the me that everyone else likes... ideally, I think, and hope... ;]

  So I know this was a ramble mess, that really had no point, but I finally wrote something again :)

I guess thats part of the magic of listening to Superchick for me.

Friday, May 25, 2012

Happy Memorial Day Weekend

Well folks it has been a while. Things got crazy, school stuff happened, I didn't really have anything to really feel was writing worthy.

But this has been on my mind....

It's just about Memorial Day. A day to celebrate and honor those who have served us.

Yeah yeah, you have all heard this rant before....
But for the first time I really have been annoyed about the "it's Memorial Day, come and buy stuff that's on sale at our store!"

Are you kidding me, how is that honoring anyone? We shouldn't be using this weekend/day to make sales, or get new things. We need to take time out of it, say some 'Thank You's' and honor those who we need to honor.

Yeah I have my own opinions and views on politics and everything, but I still know that there are people out there or have been out their putting their life on the line to protect us here.

That's a big deal.

Both of my grandpa's have served. I thank them. Those are two men I love so much, and mean so much to me.
I have a good friend who serves in the Marines, he is amazing, and I love him, for who he, as well as for what he is choosing to do.

I thank any other friends/family, and people I don't know for doing what they do. No matter the reason they do it. They still do it. It's a big deal! Be thankful, cause your not the one having to do it!!!

This is a weekend like no other. Let celebrate and honor it.

Monday, February 6, 2012

To Piggy Back off the Last Post

Alright so I wrote to y'all the other day about some questions of faith, Christianity, and what have you not....

Well today I am here to say that I am on a quest.

 Last year I studied Romans. I'm doing it again!!! I found that last year it helped shape an understanding. Not fully, but a good starting ground. Just in the first chapter, it presents 'Living by Faith" (which last year when I studied Romans, my whole main question of focus throughout was "how am I suppose to live by faith.") This time I am adding to that question, along with how am I suppose to live by faith, but what does faith look/feel like? 

So this quest, is to redefine where I stand with God, how do I live my life, with my thought, feeling, opinions, and all around who I am, to define/redefine my faith, and belief, my life with Christ. 

Throughout the last year and a half, there have been plenty of ups and downs, good times, and bad time, good choices, and bad choices, new life experiences, etc. Which all has really impacted my life. I'm not who I was when I was in high school, or even who I was a year ago. I am really actually kind of liking who i am, and who I am becoming! SHOCKER I know right. lol.

Well in starting to like who I am, and on a continued journey of learning who I am, my faith, is a good chunk of that. Whether good or bad, its part of who I am. So that is why I am working on the redefining it, and figuring it out.

Sure, next year and the year after and so on it will always have to be examined again. Defined and redefined, but right now, I'm taking what I know, what I have questions on, and taking them to where I can start figuring it out. 

I'm gonna need prayer, I'm gonna need those check in's from people, I can't do this on my own, I need my friends and family to "cheer" me on, and help keep me going. 

So there you have it for today (feel honored 2 blogs 1 week lol) 

Saturday, February 4, 2012

It's been a while, but here you go...

There isn't a lot about me that I can explain in words to make sense. I can't really tell you why I feel the way I do sometimes. 

There are things in my life, like my faith, and being a christian that I can say why I am that. I grew up in a christian home, I've been going to church since I was a baby. So that what i grew up knowing. There are a lot of times I wonder who I would be if it wasn't like that. What if I never went to church, never knew about Jesus, didn't have in my life? 

I also wonder if that plays in impact on why I am on a constant roller coast of faith. There are days where I believe without a doubt there is a God up in Heaven who is helping me along in this crazy life. But there are also days where I just wonder is he real. How in the world can so many people believe and put there life in something that you just have to believe is there. Other than the physical things like the earth, and all of creation, and our Bible, what do we have to base what we believe is correct? How does/ where does what we learn about God and then science line up. Where to we make that fine line of truth. 

Out of all the religions out there in the world, how can we be certain that Christianity is true way. Is Christianity just another one of those life things that is trial and error. We just have to do it or not do it, and at the end of life we figure out if it was right or not? 

Where is the line of someone being able to hear/feel God so loud and clear, but someone else who has just as much faith, can't hear/feel what God has for them. How much searching and asking, and praying and trusting does it take? Is it for different for everyone? 

Now this being said. Don't take it as a "I'm giving up on God" kind of thing, cause I'm not!!! I just feel as a christian I have the right to ask these things. 

Also ask questions like if someone is a born again forgiven christian, but they constantly struggle with depression, or whatever and they end up taking there life, where do they then stand with God, do they end up going to heaven, or because they ended their life, even when having Christ in their life, then is that sin just enough to cause God to say no you can't be a enter eternal with Him??? 

These are just questions that have been sorting through and trying to figure out in my head. Take them as you want, think what you want about me for it. I'm pretty sure that me asking things like this doesn't make me any less of a christian or "good" person. I think its questions like this that help people to grow stronger in faith. 

Tuesday, November 8, 2011


Well its November.
Holy crap where has the time gone. I've done almost a whole semester of school here already??? WHAT???
Well I wish I had something interesting of some sort to post about. But I don't.
Its been a while since I've blogged, or wrote for the heck of it. I mean I've been writing, but papers are not exciting.

School is going pretty well. I'm finally in a spot where I don't cry everyday. Or I want to give up. No, I'm actually doing well in classes. I have people I call friends. Sure I have things that stress me out, like tests or assignments I don't want to do. But its how it is. I have a class I strongly dislike, which is Astronomy, but I cant change the fact that I'm in it. Honestly, not sure what we are suppose to be learning. The teacher is difficult to talk to, he lectures on things that aren't on the quizzes and test, etc. But that's not what I'm here to write about. Cause that's only one class, and by the end I should pass it, because even if it doesn't look like its going well, he grades on a curve, and I should pull it off. I'm doing fantastic in English. I've had a few "piss off" moments with that class, but no one likes their work to be edited, or critiqued. My research paper, well I have only been "scared" of doing it wrong, which made me "scared" to do it at all. But I used my resources available, and pulled something off to turn in my rough draft on time. and you know what my teacher said it was a excellent rough draft. HAHA I was shocked to hear that. But it was a confidence boost. The other classes, I'm doing decent in, staying on top of my work, and yeah.

I officially changed my major a few weeks ago, and I couldn't be happier about that decision. I'm super excited to look ahead and be a psych major. I worked on building a schedule for next semester, met with my advisor to check in and see if with that and make sure I'm headed in the right direction, and she said yeah. So hopefully I get the schedule I put together and classes I picked. I will be really happy if I get the schedule and classes I want. If I do, I know that I will have to work hard, but thats not a bad thing. I will take care of a couple different "goal areas" for my gen eds, if I get the classes. So hope and pray that it works out. If not, I keep going, and find something that fits and works, and yeah.

With all that, I'm also excited to get to come home, and spend time with my family and my friends over thanksgiving, and over winter break.

I guess for now thats what I have to post. Hopefully I wont have a big stretch again before another post. But I thought I would use some of my free time today to write, give an update, and yeah.

Saturday, October 8, 2011

Alright so I have been thinking, and I am feeling that I am suppose to change majors. Right now it is elementary education. However, as I look ahead at school, and my life, I cant foresee myself being a teacher. If I put my mind to it, I can do it. But as much as I love kids I don't think I would want to teach them.

As I am figuring things out, I am realizing how much I have a heart for people, and a whole lot of empathy for people. I want to help people. So I want to change to Psychology. With the intent to probably do something with a focus on kids.

I have also been really getting into digging into the To Write Love On Her Arms website, and their story, and so on.

This is it, this is where my heart is at. Outside of the whole wife and mom thing that I want, this is what I want to do, this is what I believe I am called for. I want to help others, helping them through their storms of life. I want to be someone they can trust, and let love them, without judgment and for who they are.

We will see where this all goes, and how things move along, but thats kinda what I'm thinking right now.