About Me

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Life has it's highs and lows. Embrace it. Live It. Push through. Find the Joy, the Laughter, the Smiles. The little things are the things that bring the most joy. New Life Rises From The Ashes. ~ <3 ~

Wednesday, September 29, 2010


So its just been a crappy week, esp today.

So right now, I am going to read my Bible, spend time with my Almighty God, have an amazing smelling candle burning, and working on melting the worries away to a safe location. I just need this week to be over. In more ways then one. One is it means the crappy week is over, and I can focus on a good one for next week. As well as SAM HELM COMES HOME for the weekend!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ahhh I miss her, love her, and cannot wait to see her. I am also being kidnapped away by some friends, women's conference friday and saturday, and Tenth Ave North/Addison Road concert saturday :) YAY its going to be a good weekend. I just can't let the crappy take over. So dear friday, just get here already!!!!!

Tuesday, September 28, 2010

A Friends Told Me...

"If you never risk telling the people you fall in love with you'll never know if they've fallen in love back. Maybe the other person is just waiting too. It's better to feel dumb for a few minutes than to wonder for a lifetime." -JG

~Oh does this hit hard. I need to figure out what I have to do. Well I know what I have to do, I don't know how to do it. I care so much, and I have so many feelings. Rejection is one of my biggest fears. Loosing one of my best friends is another big fear. If I tell him how I feel. I risk both. I am already "loosing" him since he is going away for 5 year. Does that mean I tell him, he says the same thing and then I wait/have a long distance relationship. Who knows what the next 5 years bring to the plate for both him and I. If I tell him, and he doesn't feel the same way well her will be gone, and well I have those years to move on. But would that effect the last month I have with him being here?
I just want/need to know what to do. I just wish God would give me a big clear sign of what in the world I have to do. I have never felt this way about anyone. NEVER! Just typing this is making my heart all flustered, giddy, worried, etc. I just want to be smart about it all. I need to know what to do.

Friday, September 24, 2010

Little Jesus and Teenage Jesus

SO last night, at work Melissa and I were having a convo about the whole there is nothing in the bible about Jesus growing up, other then when it says he was 12 teaching in the temple. She asked me why that is. Was he just a normal kid and teenager? Honestly I could not give her a good answer. I tried, and I told her this is my opinion, my total guess at why. I really couldn't be the one to truly tell you and know if its right. But here is what I said (agree with me, or disagree, whatever. I am in a learning realm of my life/walk, so I would love to hear the "truth" about it.)

Anywho... SO I said well there was a huge significance in His birth. But His growing up was just normal. The whole teaching in the temple at 12 I think that was part where He started to realize that there was something unique about Himself. But after that again I would just think it was normal teenage years. It also wasn't the time for him to start his ministry, and do what He was placed on the earth to do.

I also asked this question on Yahoo answers. Of course I got the stupid dumb butt remarks. But I also got a couple good answers.


This question and convo really got me excited about being able to dig deeper and look for answers, and for more to what I know.

Please let me know what your thoughts are.

Thursday, September 23, 2010

Oh How Children Make Me Smile =D

So today has been a great day, just nothing to complain about.
Well I was on the phone with Melissa today, asking her a serious question. And then as we were talking she says hold on Andrew wants to talk to you... so he comes on and asks me to come over and play Wii with them. S well I get Jayden from school, and we head over to play for a bit. Well as we had to leave, I am starting to pull out, Andrew yells to me "Wait..." runs over to my side of the car and says "I love you" then runs off :) totally made me smile.
Then tonight, I had to work. Well we didn't have to many kids, so a few of us workers got to leave. Well since the New Tribe girls rode together, it just was easier if I left. But there was a girl in the room who I played with last week, and again this week while I was in the room. So when I made the decision that I would just go, no big deal... she was attached to me. I told her I had to go home, and she was like "no, you have to stay here, and then come home with me." Oh my gosh it made me laugh and smile.

It just goes to show that I apparently do make a difference, and kids love me. I'm glad that I can have that, and that I mean something. It is constantly encouraging me.

and today(friday) I took the kids to the park, and Dash sits in the swing next to me and says, "Beth I love you very much"

Monday, September 20, 2010

Romans 2

So this week is my second week of reading Romans.

Today, as I was reading I had a total AHA God teaching moment:

-Vs. 16: "and this is the message I proclaim - that the day is coming when God, through Christ Jesus, will judge everyone's secret life."

This got me onto thinking what is in my secret life.

-Vs. 20 "You think you can instruct the ignorant and teach children the ways of God. For you are certain that Gods law gives you complete knowledge and truth."

This lead to me thinking well I am one kids look up to, I teach them. How can i teach them the ways of God when/if I have things that are in my "secret life."

-Vs 29: " No, a true Jew is one whose heart is right with God."

When I have things that are present in my life that are creating a "secret life" I don't have my heart and my focus right/set on God. Those thing filling my heart. I need to get those things out, and have God fill my heart 100%.
Allowing for my heart to be right with God. Then I am right to be able to teach others, teach children, and be a light to others.

-End of vs 29: "And a person with a changed heart seeks praise from God, not from people."

The things that are filling my heart and creating a "secret life" are coming from looking for praise and being accepted by people. I should be keeping focused on God, and again with a heart that is right with God, seeking praise from God is what is important. I should be wanting to please Him, and having Him be satisfied with me.

Wednesday, September 15, 2010

Improve My Life

So I am at a point in my life, where I am ready/wanting/willing to improve my life. I am working on improving it Spiritually, Emotionally/Mentally, and Physically. Note that I have said improve, not change. I don't need change, I just need to make it a bit better. My life is great, I have Christ, I have a family that loves me/each other, I have some of the greatest friends ever, I have a ton of people who trust me/respect me, kids look up to me, etc. I have a lot to be thankful for. Thing may not always go accordingly, but to whose standards are they not going accordingly to... mine. I know all happens for a reason. Life isn't messed up, going wrong, or horrible. Life is in God's hands, God's time.

Improving Spiritually: I am working on getting better at getting into my Bible, reading what God has to say. Looking for a church to help teach me, and be a place I can go. It is possible I may return to FRCC, but I need to spread my wings a bit. I have great friend who encourage me and help me. I also have Shelley, being a mentor/accountability partner to help keep me on track with my reading, helping me to learn more, get the most out of what I am reading and learning. I thank God so much for Her putting in her time and energy into me.

Improving Emotionally/Mentally: I can be a "Debbie Downer" as you all know. Cranky, angry, sad, hurt, etc. But I can also be a blessed, happy go luck person too. I am like a bad roller coaster ride. Which I want to get off of. I want to be that blessed, happy go lucky person. I like that person in me. (This may sound prideful...) But that person is fun to be around.
Improving Physically: I am starting to think I am growing out of my eczema (not sure, but it has been doing well for a while now.) It has me wanting to improve more of me. I want to feel comfortable in the body I have. I want to be in better health. Though I may not be huge, I could loose a few LBs :) So I am doing Zumba at church, and waling and exercising more. Not to mention I LOVE Zumba, and my walks. I love how when I do that stuff, it makes me feel better. Kick in adrenaline and endorphins, and I am positive, and ready to take on the world (which I know I can't do but I can take on myself, and work toward the improvement that I want to have in my life.)

All in all I want to be a better Beth. Not a different Beth, just a better more enjoyable one :)

Sunday, September 5, 2010

I suffer from being jealous of everyone around me... I think I also suffer from anger issue. I care to much about what others think of me. I worry about more than I should.

Let face it I have issues. Why in the world do people like me???

Friday, September 3, 2010


So am I going mad/crazy???
Here I am. 19yrs old. "suppose" to be in school, and not. I have gone to a church for about 5ish years now, been super involved, and such, and now leaving it all.
I feel like people are thinking I'm going crazy, or something dramatic has happened. but no. I really feel that God has this all in His plan for me. I feel right/content with taking this year, and finding who I am. Figuring out where I want to be for school, and getting there. Figuring out where I need to be to be able to grow stronger, learn more, and worship the God of my life. I need this to refocus on Him.
There are plenty of reasons I am leaving the church. Although it may be "sad" for some. I find it refreshing. (this may sound selfish) but to know that people would be sad that I'm gone, means I have made a difference. Maybe God is leading me out to find a new church to make a difference in. If so AWESOME :) But I know deep down that my worship and love for the Lord needs to be re-focused on. I want to be a woman who can say I love and serve Him, because I love Him so much, and that my heart is in check.

I just hope that in all this, I will have people's support. I may not get everyone's but I hope that the people who love and care enough for me, would support me, guide me, and really help keep my hear in check for the Lord.