There isn't a lot about me that I can explain in words to make sense. I can't really tell you why I feel the way I do sometimes.
There are things in my life, like my faith, and being a christian that I can say why I am that. I grew up in a christian home, I've been going to church since I was a baby. So that what i grew up knowing. There are a lot of times I wonder who I would be if it wasn't like that. What if I never went to church, never knew about Jesus, didn't have in my life?
I also wonder if that plays in impact on why I am on a constant roller coast of faith. There are days where I believe without a doubt there is a God up in Heaven who is helping me along in this crazy life. But there are also days where I just wonder is he real. How in the world can so many people believe and put there life in something that you just have to believe is there. Other than the physical things like the earth, and all of creation, and our Bible, what do we have to base what we believe is correct? How does/ where does what we learn about God and then science line up. Where to we make that fine line of truth.
Out of all the religions out there in the world, how can we be certain that Christianity is true way. Is Christianity just another one of those life things that is trial and error. We just have to do it or not do it, and at the end of life we figure out if it was right or not?
Where is the line of someone being able to hear/feel God so loud and clear, but someone else who has just as much faith, can't hear/feel what God has for them. How much searching and asking, and praying and trusting does it take? Is it for different for everyone?
Now this being said. Don't take it as a "I'm giving up on God" kind of thing, cause I'm not!!! I just feel as a christian I have the right to ask these things.
Also ask questions like if someone is a born again forgiven christian, but they constantly struggle with depression, or whatever and they end up taking there life, where do they then stand with God, do they end up going to heaven, or because they ended their life, even when having Christ in their life, then is that sin just enough to cause God to say no you can't be a enter eternal with Him???
These are just questions that have been sorting through and trying to figure out in my head. Take them as you want, think what you want about me for it. I'm pretty sure that me asking things like this doesn't make me any less of a christian or "good" person. I think its questions like this that help people to grow stronger in faith.