About Me
- Bethann
- Life has it's highs and lows. Embrace it. Live It. Push through. Find the Joy, the Laughter, the Smiles. The little things are the things that bring the most joy. New Life Rises From The Ashes. ~ <3 ~
Saturday, September 10, 2011
Friday, September 9, 2011
Thursday, September 8, 2011
Well Im checkin in again. Im almost to my 4 weekend here. Sigh its crazy.
I pretty much take life on a day to day, week by week.
I miss home. I miss my life of everything I know.
I love being in classes though. I like that I'm "doing something."
I have roommate issues. And its crazy. She has decided she wants to switch rooms. But she has no real reason for it. Like and I'm not just saying that to "defend myself. She really has no real legit reason. Whatever.....
I surrender everyday to God. I read my Bible and pray everyday.
But have anxiety/panic running through me at some point in the day.
In those moments I tell myself I'm ok, Gods got me. I pray.
But I dont like being so far away from home.
Sure there are people here that I am meeting. I generally everyday have someone to eat with and talk to.
I go to bible study and cru. I found a church. Im probably gonna start volunteering there too.
I sit down with new people at meals if I didn't meet up with someone.
I introduce myself to new people if someone I know has someone come up to them. etc.
I know people here because they are Dans friends. But at the same time they are Dan's friends, and I don't want to step in the way of his friendships.
I guess three weeks in I am still having those good and bad days. Yeah they are always gonna happen. I'm still adjusting. But to be honest its hard. I knew it wasn't going to be easy. But I'm really learning to lean into and trust God so much more then I ever have in my life.
I pretty much take life on a day to day, week by week.
I miss home. I miss my life of everything I know.
I love being in classes though. I like that I'm "doing something."
I have roommate issues. And its crazy. She has decided she wants to switch rooms. But she has no real reason for it. Like and I'm not just saying that to "defend myself. She really has no real legit reason. Whatever.....
I surrender everyday to God. I read my Bible and pray everyday.
But have anxiety/panic running through me at some point in the day.
In those moments I tell myself I'm ok, Gods got me. I pray.
But I dont like being so far away from home.
Sure there are people here that I am meeting. I generally everyday have someone to eat with and talk to.
I go to bible study and cru. I found a church. Im probably gonna start volunteering there too.
I sit down with new people at meals if I didn't meet up with someone.
I introduce myself to new people if someone I know has someone come up to them. etc.
I know people here because they are Dans friends. But at the same time they are Dan's friends, and I don't want to step in the way of his friendships.
I guess three weeks in I am still having those good and bad days. Yeah they are always gonna happen. I'm still adjusting. But to be honest its hard. I knew it wasn't going to be easy. But I'm really learning to lean into and trust God so much more then I ever have in my life.
Sunday, August 28, 2011
Well its just been a little over a week since I have been at school.
For the most part it hasn't been bad.
There is a lot. A lot of people, and lot of time to fill, a lot of newness, etc.
Classes are so far so good. You know boring, and first week kind of stuff.
I've gone to activities (even if its not my kind of thing, I go for a little bit. Just to get out, and make "my presence.") I've gone to cru, which I'm excited about. I have gone to church both weekends. I've gone for walks, sat outside to be out and about. I've gone to meals with some people, etc.
But it hasn't been the easiest week. I have been really homesick. I miss my friends and family. I miss the things I know. Its been hard stepping out of my comfort zone. I have had breakdowns. I have had plenty of moments where I have felt alone.
I know I know. Its common. Its normal, etc. But its hard, and at the same time I know its what I need to do right now.
I have spend every morning before I get on with my day, spending time with God. I read a Proverb a day. I spend time praying to God to show me His will and plan for me being here. I spend my morning and plenty of my day talking to Him, and seeking out where my next step is. Asking for Him to bring a peace and ease into my being here.
Everyday is new. I know that it will get easier. I trust God in my being here.
I do enjoy that I am doing school. Yeah, its school, and its not the most fun thing in life. But I'm doing something productive. I know that homework will soon start to fill up the empty space boring time.
I also know that soon enough it will be break, and I will be home.
I just need to keep going. Work hard, and keep trying to meet people/make connections. I trust God in my everyday, and I know there is a reason for all this.
For the most part it hasn't been bad.
There is a lot. A lot of people, and lot of time to fill, a lot of newness, etc.
Classes are so far so good. You know boring, and first week kind of stuff.
I've gone to activities (even if its not my kind of thing, I go for a little bit. Just to get out, and make "my presence.") I've gone to cru, which I'm excited about. I have gone to church both weekends. I've gone for walks, sat outside to be out and about. I've gone to meals with some people, etc.
But it hasn't been the easiest week. I have been really homesick. I miss my friends and family. I miss the things I know. Its been hard stepping out of my comfort zone. I have had breakdowns. I have had plenty of moments where I have felt alone.
I know I know. Its common. Its normal, etc. But its hard, and at the same time I know its what I need to do right now.
I have spend every morning before I get on with my day, spending time with God. I read a Proverb a day. I spend time praying to God to show me His will and plan for me being here. I spend my morning and plenty of my day talking to Him, and seeking out where my next step is. Asking for Him to bring a peace and ease into my being here.
Everyday is new. I know that it will get easier. I trust God in my being here.
I do enjoy that I am doing school. Yeah, its school, and its not the most fun thing in life. But I'm doing something productive. I know that homework will soon start to fill up the empty space boring time.
I also know that soon enough it will be break, and I will be home.
I just need to keep going. Work hard, and keep trying to meet people/make connections. I trust God in my everyday, and I know there is a reason for all this.
Saturday, August 13, 2011
blog blog blog blog blog blog blog blog blog blog blog blog
blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah
Ok now to what I was really going to say. HAHA gotta love sassy moments
Yeah yeah this will be about my getting ready for school. Shocking I know. But hey its pretty much the happening in my life right now.
Well I have finished up with things like work. I have said some goodbyes. I'm just about finished with packing.
It's the same thing I keep saying.... bittersweet.
Super excited, but there are a few moments where I see my stuff all packed away, or I say an official "bye/see ya later" where I think "wow this is real. I'm almost there." Just a few more days. Some of my hardest see you laters to come.
But the silver lining to it is, I am a phone call/text/skype away. I'm not gone for good. I'll be back around.
I need this for myself. I have to prove to myself that I am more then how I feel sometimes. So even if its hard being away from what I know. I know it will all be good and fun and whatever else it will bring. Sure there will be times when I feel alone. But thats normal. Those are the moments that I will have to do something about me feeling that way. That's when I have to go and take a step toward meeting someone. And in those times I can also call/text/skype back home.
I'm away but not gone. Goodbye isn't goodbye. It's just see you later.
blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah
Ok now to what I was really going to say. HAHA gotta love sassy moments
Yeah yeah this will be about my getting ready for school. Shocking I know. But hey its pretty much the happening in my life right now.
Well I have finished up with things like work. I have said some goodbyes. I'm just about finished with packing.
It's the same thing I keep saying.... bittersweet.
Super excited, but there are a few moments where I see my stuff all packed away, or I say an official "bye/see ya later" where I think "wow this is real. I'm almost there." Just a few more days. Some of my hardest see you laters to come.
But the silver lining to it is, I am a phone call/text/skype away. I'm not gone for good. I'll be back around.
I need this for myself. I have to prove to myself that I am more then how I feel sometimes. So even if its hard being away from what I know. I know it will all be good and fun and whatever else it will bring. Sure there will be times when I feel alone. But thats normal. Those are the moments that I will have to do something about me feeling that way. That's when I have to go and take a step toward meeting someone. And in those times I can also call/text/skype back home.
I'm away but not gone. Goodbye isn't goodbye. It's just see you later.
Saturday, August 6, 2011
I had the chance to go to Noah's Ark with some friends a few weeks ago. Well when I go there, I really like to go down the "Point Of No Return" So pretty much a straight down drop.
Well I love the ride its awesome. But I was thinking about it. Every time I go, I am always jazzed up about getting to go on it. However I always have to build my nerves up to go and do it. Its a cross between loving the ride and being scared of it. I always end up doing it though. Even though there is always the few moments of "I'm not going to do it" or whatever.
As I was thinking about this, it kinda relates to my life in general. Esp about me going to school.
I have been wanting to go, and excited/jazzed to go. And I have been doing the things to get me there. Sure I have had some help along the way. And I know I have had a whole lot of encouragement along the way. And I've needed it at times. But yeah. I have times where I am scared and all nerves are going/on edge. I know that right now its hard and nerve racking. But once I'm there and doing it. I know I will love it.
Sure there may be some hard moments. But its just like an amusement park ride. Ups and downs, nerves going. But a thrill. This is a thrill of a lifetime. Its the next step, and as I get closer and closer, I keep having the ups and downs or excitement and nerves. But on the same hand, its worth it, and I will love it.
Well I love the ride its awesome. But I was thinking about it. Every time I go, I am always jazzed up about getting to go on it. However I always have to build my nerves up to go and do it. Its a cross between loving the ride and being scared of it. I always end up doing it though. Even though there is always the few moments of "I'm not going to do it" or whatever.
As I was thinking about this, it kinda relates to my life in general. Esp about me going to school.
I have been wanting to go, and excited/jazzed to go. And I have been doing the things to get me there. Sure I have had some help along the way. And I know I have had a whole lot of encouragement along the way. And I've needed it at times. But yeah. I have times where I am scared and all nerves are going/on edge. I know that right now its hard and nerve racking. But once I'm there and doing it. I know I will love it.
Sure there may be some hard moments. But its just like an amusement park ride. Ups and downs, nerves going. But a thrill. This is a thrill of a lifetime. Its the next step, and as I get closer and closer, I keep having the ups and downs or excitement and nerves. But on the same hand, its worth it, and I will love it.
Friday, July 22, 2011
Just sitting around outside in the heat listening to some music. In a sick way I love it. Its like I keep saying hot is way better then sub zero in mid January. So don't complain about it. Yes its hot, but these are the days we look forward to a good chunk of the year.
Anyway that's not why I sat down to write...
I sat down to "check in" so to speak.
My summer has been crazy. Great, eventful and fun. And its gone by fast.
Monday marked the one month mark till I leave for school. Yup we are now under the official time to get stuff done, packed, spend time with people, finish up with my last couple weeks of work, and just being ready.
I am super excited, but at the same time I getting nervous. Its a bitter sweet thing. Its the start of the rest of my life. But there are things that are nerve racking. And its a healthy form of nerves, so its all good. I'm not freaking out. Its going to be good. I'm going to miss people, but I'm going to meet new people. I guess my biggest fear is that I'll get there and its not going to be instantly I have a friend there. I have to work toward the relationships that I will have and find. Just like I did while I was building relationships here, and I don't want to sit around and sulk that I miss people here, and they still have each other . Cause even though I will miss them. I can't let anything hold me back from the new stuff and people that will come.
I have my days where I am sitting there thinking what have I gotten myself into? Those days of doubt of if I can even do this. And even if I can do this, how the heck will I pay for it. Will everything with my financial aid come through, will I figure out how to make it all work, etc. I haven't had may of those days, but they have happened.
Now that I am coming closer and closer to it all being real. I can say I'm scared, but scared with a mix of total excitement. I say its a healthy form of being scared. Cause it's going to be a whole new change in life. Something I have never done before, the first time for a lot of things. But there is excitement in that very fact of it may be there first time for things.
So hear is to me saying I have butterflies in my stomach that are turning and creating knots. But I have excitement cause its something I want for myself. I want to have a purpose and focus in my everyday. That purpose and focus is to work hard, study hard, and be the best student I can be. Creating friendships, being a good friend. Working on the next part of my life, which leads toward the rest of my life.
Its going to be a long and hard road. But its going to be an amazing great path to be on.
Anyway that's not why I sat down to write...
I sat down to "check in" so to speak.
My summer has been crazy. Great, eventful and fun. And its gone by fast.
Monday marked the one month mark till I leave for school. Yup we are now under the official time to get stuff done, packed, spend time with people, finish up with my last couple weeks of work, and just being ready.
I am super excited, but at the same time I getting nervous. Its a bitter sweet thing. Its the start of the rest of my life. But there are things that are nerve racking. And its a healthy form of nerves, so its all good. I'm not freaking out. Its going to be good. I'm going to miss people, but I'm going to meet new people. I guess my biggest fear is that I'll get there and its not going to be instantly I have a friend there. I have to work toward the relationships that I will have and find. Just like I did while I was building relationships here, and I don't want to sit around and sulk that I miss people here, and they still have each other . Cause even though I will miss them. I can't let anything hold me back from the new stuff and people that will come.
I have my days where I am sitting there thinking what have I gotten myself into? Those days of doubt of if I can even do this. And even if I can do this, how the heck will I pay for it. Will everything with my financial aid come through, will I figure out how to make it all work, etc. I haven't had may of those days, but they have happened.
Now that I am coming closer and closer to it all being real. I can say I'm scared, but scared with a mix of total excitement. I say its a healthy form of being scared. Cause it's going to be a whole new change in life. Something I have never done before, the first time for a lot of things. But there is excitement in that very fact of it may be there first time for things.
So hear is to me saying I have butterflies in my stomach that are turning and creating knots. But I have excitement cause its something I want for myself. I want to have a purpose and focus in my everyday. That purpose and focus is to work hard, study hard, and be the best student I can be. Creating friendships, being a good friend. Working on the next part of my life, which leads toward the rest of my life.
Its going to be a long and hard road. But its going to be an amazing great path to be on.
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